My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
