I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
