i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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