Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
