There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
