do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
