just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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