You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
