Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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