jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
