no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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