Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I will pee on everything he values.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
