I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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