hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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