Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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