Where did you get a picture of my penis
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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