Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
