I heard we made out
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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