just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
