i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
