I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
