So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
