im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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