haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
