I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
