dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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