Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
this will be a night to untag.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
