How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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