I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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