lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
