I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
