Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
