Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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