My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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