went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
