So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
