HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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