there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
