Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
