Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
