I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
