hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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