wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
