Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
