I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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