I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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