You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
