Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
