You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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