ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
